Omg, I’ve neglected my blog for like 4 months, but I am definitely back. I psyched myself out thinking that what I dreamt to happen with this page, was going to happen like…. yesterday. And newsflash to me, it won’t. Sooooo, to jumpstart my motivation to do what I love, which is talking (explains why I got in trouble so much in school for it), I found a list of 30 writing prompts. It probably would have been easier to start this tomorrow but Sundays for some reason, I’m super productive so here it goes… *disclaimer: I suck at explaining my emotions so it WILL be all over the place)
Gerald Alan Perry,
Who knew a year ago, we would be engaged, having a baby, and moving in together. Hell, who would have even thought we’d be together at all? At times, I don’t feel like I deserve you, like I’m not enough because I don’t think I do anything to have you so enamored with me but the love I have for you is nebulous (look at you teaching me sh*t). In the beginning, I thought I loved you TOO much because you achieved a level of infatuation that I only have for my children… but now I’ve realized that this is actually what love feels like and it’s enough to make me doubt if I’ve ever actually been in love with anyone before. I was raised in a one parent household and even though I had male influences, I was shown that you don’t need a man to have a fruitful life. You have proven that theory otherwise. But it’s not in the sense that I literally need you per se.. I can work, pay my bills, and take care of my kids all by myself because I’m a strong, black woman who don’t need no man….
I just don’t want to anymore. Adulting with you and having some ups and downs is better in nebulous (I used it again, HA!) amounts than smooth sailing my way through life by myself. So in closing, as I look at this ring on my left hand and this tear falls down my face, I remember ALL of the times I was told “no one will love you because you have two kids” or “if my son was trying to date someone who already had two kids, I would have a serious problem” I thank you for being MORE than enough, for being the person that you are, for loving me and my two rugrats unconditionally, and for choosing to do forever with me.
I Love You,